Ringo Starr finally stops signing autographs

He’s going to throw away anything anyone sends for signing from the 20th of October onwards. Fair enough. It’s been almost four decades since the Beatles broke up! He can’t have that many fans from all his new stuff. It’d piss anyone off to have to spend hours every day signing your name over and over for people selling signed Beatles shit on eBay. It’s hard enough to move in new creative directions without having hundreds of people remind you of your past, daily.

When the Smashing Pumpkins came recently to Melbourne for the V Festival, Billy Corgan got angry at the crowd which consistently cheered when old classics came on and booed when he tried to play his new stuff. I understand how that could be frustrating, but, then, he really shouldn’t be playing under the name of the Smashing Pumpkins if it’s really going to be “The Billy Corgan Band” with a little help from the old drummer or something. It was his own (probably greed-inspired) decision.

Anyway, this is what I pictured as soon as I heard it:

Ringo Starr in "Brush with Greatness"

Dear Marge.  Thanks for the fab painting of Yours Truly.  I hung
it on me wall.  You're quite an artist.  In answer to your question,
yes, we do have hamburgers and fries in England.  But we call French
fries `chips'.  Love, Ringo.  PS: Forgive the lateness of my reply.

and:

Dear Sally.  In response to you letter of December the 12th 1966,
me favourite colour is blue, and me real first name is Richard.
Thanks for the snapshot.  You're a real cute bird.  Love, Ringo.
PS: Forgive the lateness of my reply.

I guess those days of Ringo tirelessly going through every last letter are over. If he hadn’t told everyone and just stopped sending things back maybe he would’ve been accused of theft.